May 31 2008
Killing someone over $1.25
Welcome to the Donkey Show.
I Wonder is Massachusetts has some old Arcane Law about Bartenders Killing people Trying to Recover Tips like Arkansas has about Recovering gambling Debts.
I Bartend on the Weekends. If you didn’t know I work at a Upscale blues club I went in early yesterday for a Party of 60-70 with a cash bar at 5:30 and when they had left around 8 we had Made $40 in tips.
Now I am not one to Usually Complain about tips but last night took the cake I mean Who else orders 5 fucking drinks and tips $1.25 yeah that right a Whole ONE DOLLAR AND 25 CENTS. I wanted to Jam that $1.25 Down this Assholes Fucking throat. Its not even that it was they were cheap but they were demanding and Somewhat rude, Now I can understand bad tips for poor service but when we go out of our way for fucking people and then they either stiff you or leave a Tip that isn’t even Close to Adequate. I mean would you go out to eat and tip 1.25 on a bill of 40 bucks?
Now Please don’t miss understand me. Even if you stiff me or leave me a Shitty see $1.25 tip You will still get my best smile and a Thank you But what I am really thinking is about Sodomizing you with a Broom stick cause your a fucking cheap motherfucker.
Better yet for the Guy who came up twice to order a Bottle of wine But didn’t feel the Need to Tip the Bar either Time Fuck you you cheap Bastard I hope your Fat Pig of a wife cheats on you and catches Herpes cause 55 dollar Bill and No TIP is So Nice That I am thinking of something Nice to do with the Leftover Bottles that involves your Orifices.
Now lest you think that I am being Severe The Waitresses were complaining of the same issue but Atleast wasn’t getting my Ass Grabbed like she was. I did have a Woman ask for my Phone# at 1am cause she somehow missed the Wedding Ring On my Finger all night while she was flirting with me, Sadly I had to Inform her of my Marital Status and Refuse her Request although she did say she Appreciated my Honesty but would Refuse on the Basis of me Being Married was Grounds for Removal from her Dating Pool. Atleast she was A good Tipper. Actually most of our Customers are just not the first group from some Local Radio station.
